if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
