I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
