Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize