it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
