Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize