Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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