It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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