I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
