ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
