WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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