i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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