I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
