she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
