i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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