i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
