I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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