I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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