I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
