small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
