Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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