this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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