I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
