looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
