If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
