theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
