We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
