hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
