I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Barsexuality is the new black.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
