We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
