This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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