come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize