i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
