i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
