All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
