if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
