Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
