My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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