So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
