operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
