so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
