never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
