should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
