I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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