i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
