Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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