Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
