I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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