Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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