its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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