As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
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