at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
