maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
