Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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