sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
