You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
