it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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