Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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