I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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