So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just tell him i said nine months
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
BRING THE BAGELS
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
