I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
