a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
