Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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