i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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