I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
