Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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