I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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