Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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