Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize