Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
