why didn't you poke me back
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
