I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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